You can't please anyone

You eat, You’re fat
You don’t eat, You’re a freak

You drink, You’re an alcoholic
you don’t drink, You’re a pussy

You read, You’re a nerd
You don’t read, You’re Stupid 

You tell a secret, You’re an attention seeker
You don’t tell a secret, You’re still an attention seeker.

You let someone in, You’re easy
you don’t let someone in, You’re too uptight 

You smoke, You think you’re cool
You don’t smoke, You’re a pussy

You’ve made out with people, you’re a slut
You haven’t made out with anyone, your a frigid little bitch

You wear a V-neck and tight jeans, You’re gay
You don’t wear V-neck and tight jeans, You’re unfashionable 

What will please you? Anything?